My brother goes to Madison. His Halloween pictures just popped up in my newsfeed.
I’m going to go pour acid in my eyes now k thanks bye.
17:41
THE NEW MOON DRINKING GAME
Applicable only for the 12:04am showing of New Moon on November 20th.
My girlfriends and I are sneaking waterbottles full of wine into the theater. This is the drinking game we are playing.
- Every time Robert Pattinson broods, drink.
- Every time Kristin Stewart can’t act, drink.
- If Edward and Bella make hideously awkward eye contact for more than three seconds, drink.
- Every time Bella’s dad’s mustache is on screen, drink.
- Every time Jacob’s shirt is off, drink.
- Every time the soundtrack sucks, drink.
- Drown your sorrows when the credits roll - finish your drink.
My favorite part of this plan is making every thirteen year old girl around us so terribly angry that we are mocking the reason for their existence.
Also, there’s a good chance I may not make it out of the theater alive, after consuming multiple bottles of wine in a short span of time. Remember me fondly.
17:24
If you get this, I do not judge you. I merely share in your shame.
Twilight mockery, GET ON MY TUMBLR.
This post was reblogged from shoesonwrong.
12:04
Wait, you mean Tony Danza is a real person?
I always thought he was just the mis-heard lyrics to “Tiny Dancer.”
Guess I learned something today.
05/11/2009
Roommate Adventures, Part 3.
- Three roommates watching Scooby Doo.
- Sarah: What the hell!? NOT POSSIBLE.
- Erik: It's a cartoon. Why are you worried about the improbability of a cartoon?
- Sarah: Hey Erik?
- Erik: Yeah?
- Sarah: SHUT UP.
- Erik: I can't, I'm eating cheese!
- Me: Fine, shut up or I'll deprive you of your civil rights!
- Erik: Doesn't work, I don't have any here anyways.
- Sarah: At least you're allowed to be a sodomite here, Illinois was the first to repeal the sodomy laws.
- Erik: Can I just watch Scooby Doo? Please?
04/11/2009
Guilty Pleasure Wednesday
OR
Transcontinental Internet Mini-Series Date Night with Boy.
18:39
Make my Twitter bio less boring? Pretty Please?
I know we did this thing like a million and a half years ago, but I’m sick of my boring bio and want something else so it doesn’t just sit there sad and empty.
(Sad empty bio is sad. Also empty.)
My old bio: “Strange tales of collegiate life”
Any new and silly ideas, tumblrbabbies?
11:52
GPOYW: Practicing my fake smile for my senior pictures that my mom is making me take, even though they are going to look like they belong to the Hall of Bad 1980’s Style JC Penney Fame and can you see the terror in my eyes?…Edition.
10:39
Happy Birthday Ron Bailey!
I still think this is one of the best things I’ve ever created.
I hope your birthday involves pastel suits and fancy cars.
0:18
If your roommate asks you to do the dishes after she's been out of town all weekend, when you know full well a large portion of those dishes are hers because she LEFT IT LIKE THAT, what do you say?
Rationale for request: Her boyfriend is coming over tomorrow and she wants to look like a real adult.
I’ll probably be the good roommate and do them all, but still. STILL. I’m allowed to be a little miffed at being told to do her dishes, right?
/vent.
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